— I’m not mad, Pasha, — I answered. My voice was calm, too calm, dead. — Of course not. I understand everything.
— Really? — A hint of hope slipped into his voice. — Oh, Yanochka, I was so scared you were going to leave me. You didn’t forget about the “Neurostabil,” did you? It’s completely gone, I need a pill.
— No, darling, I didn’t forget. — I handed the pharmacist my card to pay. — I found something new, even better.
— Better? — He was surprised. — What is it?
— An improved formula. The pharmacist said it’s the strongest thing they have. It cleanses the body of everything bad, of all toxins and diseases. She said the effect will be amazing. It will definitely help you.
— Wow! — he drew out the word. There was a childish curiosity in his voice. — And is it expensive?
— Don’t worry, no amount of money is too much for your health, — I said, taking the bag with my purchase. — I’m on my way home, my love, wait for me.
I ended the call. The smiling pharmacist handed me the receipt.
— Take strictly according to the instructions, — she advised cheerfully.
— I will, — I nodded, hiding the box in my bag.
It was already dark outside. I walked slowly home, to my apartment. For the first time in six months, I wasn’t running, wasn’t rushing, wasn’t flying on the wings of guilt and duty. I was walking, and I knew that this evening would put everything in its place.
When I entered, he was lying on the sofa in the same martyr-like pose. Seeing me, he tried to smile.
— Yanochka, you’re back! I was so worried!
— You shouldn’t have been!
I went to the kitchen without looking at him. I threw the cardboard packaging from the laxative into the trash, after popping the two largest pills out of the foil. They were white, without any identifying marks. Perfect. I poured a glass of water and returned to the room.
— Here, — I held out the pills to him in my palm, — your new medicine.
He looked at them greedily.
— Two at once?
— The doctor said you need a loading dose for the first time, to start the cleansing process. — I lied, looking him straight in the eye.
He suspected nothing. He took the pills, tossed them into his mouth, and washed them down with water. He swallowed.
— Thanks, honey, — he said, leaning back on the pillow. — You’re the best! I love you so much!
— I know, — I replied and sat in the armchair opposite him. I wasn’t going to leave. I wanted to see everything.
We sat in silence for about twenty minutes. He was watching TV. I was watching him….
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