The Wi-Fi ran at full speed, and the house smelled like a clean floral diffuser instead of dirty laundry and stale air. On Friday evening, Emily settled into the couch with tea and a new episode of her favorite show. Then her phone lit up with a text from Susan.
Her former mother-in-law wrote that Emily was being too harsh and that poor Mike had sunk into a terrible depression. She complained that he spent all day staring at the ceiling and demanded that Emily take his number off the blocked list. Susan begged her to take him back, saying her fixed income wasn’t enough to keep him fed on pasta and crackers.
Emily gave a short, humorless laugh as she read the message. She could picture Mike now, eating through his mother’s pantry with the same enthusiasm he had once brought to her paycheck. She understood perfectly well that he was draining Susan’s modest budget just as efficiently as he had drained hers.
Then the doorbell rang. To her surprise, Mike himself stood on the porch with an overstuffed duffel bag in his hand. He looked worn down, but there was still plenty of nerve left in him. He tried to step into the entryway at once, announcing that he had thought things over and wanted to come home.
He started complaining about his “toxic” mother, who, according to him, criticized him nonstop and gave him no peace. He moved forward as if the house still belonged to him. Emily planted a firm hand against his chest and stopped him cold.
Mike tried one last charm offensive, talking about how weak and run-down he felt. He said there was nothing at his mother’s house but a lonely head of cabbage, and he was practically wasting away. At that exact moment, his eyes landed on the grocery bags by Emily’s door.
Fresh ciabatta, bunches of herbs, and a bottle of good olive oil peeked out from the paper sacks. Mike brightened instantly and tried to laugh off their recent blowup as some kind of misunderstanding about budgeting. Then, with a straight face, he said that since Emily earned good money, it was only right that she feed the man of the house.
Emily looked at him steadily, honestly amazed that she had shared a home with this man for three years. Now he seemed less like a lazy husband and more like a parasite that had mistaken itself for a necessity. In a calm voice that allowed no room for debate, she told him to leave her alone for good…
